Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Holding Baby Brynn

Holding baby Brynn next to me for a whole hour is my new dictionary definition for pure joy. Her little body next to mine was nothing short of perfect, and smelling her little baby scent for the first time is something I will cherish forever.  Apparently Brynn liked it, too, since her stats were so great during our time together that the nurse was even able to turn her oxygen down.  

I loved feeling her little body breathe and wiggle. I cupped my hand under her little feet and noticed she liked to push against me just to make sure I was there. If my hand relaxed at all, she'd push more and wriggle to remind me to put it back up. My other hand was across her back to keep her warm and if I moved it all, she'd squirm until I brought it back, too. Shes's so funny--she knows exactly what she wants--and I can't tell you how fulfilling it was to be able to give it to her.

Being a mom is still surreal. Sometimes I still think she's in my belly and I'll think she can hear me play classical music to her. Having her on my chest was a reminder for me that she's really here. What's more surreal, though, is that she really recognizes ME as her mom.

I remember when I was first married, I kept thinking, "I'm married? I'm MARRIED?" It took a couple months to get used to the idea that I had an entirely new role to fill. I think it's the same now. I'm a MOTHER? ME? Wow.

And yet, in another way it's not so strange at all. As many of you know, Matt and I have waited a LONG time for this and on many occasions wondered if we'd ever be blessed with biological children. Now, as if by some miracle, the time has come. On one hand it feels as though this moment took forever. On the other hand it feels as though it came super fast. I suppose both are true!

Here, Jen (the nurse) is getting us set up. Brynn is covered for warmth under the blanket.


A few tears of joy:
Family Photo:
First Kisses:

10 comments:

TiAnn, Paul, and Kalispell Finn said...

I'm so happy for you both, what sweet sweet moments.

Kecia said...

That is beautiful. Looking at her tiny head on you puts into perspective how itsy bitsy she is right now. I love that she knows what she wants already. Kangaroo care is the best. When Emma was born she had a bit of a fever and the only thing that helped bring it down was kangaroo care, and it just feels right!

Danyelle Ferguson said...

She's so beautiful! What a wonderful experience to hold her close to you and just cherish your little angel!

With each of my babies, I was always surprised how early they knew the difference between mom and dad - and how they used their little personalities to let us know how they were feeling.

I hope you enjoy your road of discovery as a new mom!

Cheryl said...

What a sweet post! Natalie, you look so much like Holly to me, which makes me love you even more! I love these sweet pictures. 5 kids, and I've never even heard of kangaroo care. Give Matt and Brynn our love.

Angela said...

The photos of you and Brynn are so beautiful! I am so, so happy that she is progressing so wonderfully. When I read your posts, your words paint such a beautiful picture of your emotional journey...you truly are an inspiring artist!
Angela from Club 13

Dana said...

That is so wonderful! I am so happy you were able to hold your baby! That is so sweet. I would have been sobbing.

Lori McDonald said...

I shed a few tears of joy too when I read your blog. I know just how precious and special kangaroo time is for you and for the little one. It is very special bonding time and I thought it was a lot of fun those first few days. Aliya outgrew it quickly though - Brynn is so tiny you will get to do it lots. YAY! =) She is truly a beautiful little miracle!

The Bodacious Barlows said...

What an awesome moment for your family! She is so precious!

Amy said...

You three are so beautiful. Your stories and pictures bring tears to my eyes. Thank you, and God bless.

Matt, Tommi, Mattie, & Tayson said...

Congratulations! She is doing so well. She really is a fighter. Enjoy every minute. They grow up so fast. It seems like just the other day when Mattie was in the NICU and now she is turning 4!