To everyone that has commented on this blog, emailed, and sent me well-wishes through Facebook, thank you for your words of encouragement. To my friend Debbie Amundson, thank you for your poem in the comments of the last blog entry. It was a beautiful analogy. I fully intend to love "Holland" so much, that I will fall down on my knees and thank the God of Heaven that I did not end up in "Italy." This video from thework.com by Byron Katie is one of my very favorites that you would probably enjoy.
My dear friend Cara from New York called me last night and said she hoped I wasn't upset by her saying this, but that she really wasn't sorry for me. She was actually excited for me because she was confident that this situation is just perfect for us. I thought it was well expressed and she is right--there really is no need to be sorry for me. Brynn is perfect. Our situation is perfect.
Perfection, by the world's standards, consists of a list--often ambiguous--and includes certain social norms. We should be healthy, skinny, stylish, employable, in a good relationship, etc. People obviously have different values and so these things change, i.e. women should or should have careers out of the home, abortion should or should not be allowed, gays and lesbians should or should not be tolerated, platform sandals should or should not be tacky--you get my drift. In short, the world's standards of perfection shift and change with society's whims, scientists' discoveries, and religion's varied influence.
What's worse is that many people are convinced by the lie that until this perfection is attained, it is impossible to be happy and/or feel love for others or oneself. For example, "I can't love myself until I've lost 15 lbs," "I will never feel fulfilled now that I've failed at achieving my dream," "I will never be able stay in this marriage until he accepts me for who I am."
Thus perfection, and happiness for that matter, are always *just* out of reach.
But perfection, by God's standards, is an entirely different thing. He has two perfections--First, Eternal perfection which is difficult, if not impossible to attain in this life but is available through the Atonement and will be required of us in order to live with God; Second, is mortal perfection, which Seth and Job were able to attain. I know this is different than Eternal perfection because Job was pronounced perfect in the beginning of the book when he still had more trials and growth to go through in order to be further refined and perfected. This mortal perfection is nothing more or less than being in a state of grace--or in other words, being in a state where we have done all that we can do and are now relying on the atonement. We might not be perfectly humble, charitable, or kind, but we can still be doing all that is in our mortal power and therefore qualify to be under the umbrella of God's perfection. This is why, I believe, Seth and Job were pronounced perfect.
And this perfection--along with the resulting happiness--is entirely in our control. We truly do choose how we will react to our situations--even situations that might, at first glance, seem imperfect.
This is also why I believe our situation with Brynn is perfect as well, and does not require anyone to feel sorry for us. Matt and I, with Brynn, are exactly where we need to be and are in a state of mortal perfection.
Still, I sincerely appreciate everyone's heartfelt concern and wishes. I know everyone's intentions are the purest they can be and certainly don't feel annoyed or irritated when someone says, "I'm sorry this has happened." On the contrary, I am overwhelmed and appreciative of the selflessness and concern that people--some of whom I've never met--have for my dear little daughter and our family. The kindness is overwhelming indeed and a tribute to the neverending capacity of the human race to think outside themselves.
So thank you.
And before I end, Matt and I have discussed it and decided to invite everyone in the area to come to Brynn's baby blessing this coming Sunday, May 24th. This is a sacred, special time for babies and families in my church. Regardless of your religious background, I think you will enjoy the short ordinance which happens during the first hour of our three-hour block. Matt and I will, of course, be there with Brynn and would love to say hello to you. Instead of a pastor or other church authority figure, we believe in our religion that fathers have the ability and responsibility to preside over their families. As such, Matt has been given the priesthood in order to be able to fill that responsibility, and will be the one giving the blessing.
After the blessing, of course, you are welcome to stay the whole three hours, broken up by different classes each hour.
Because the internet can be a scary place, and I have no idea who has been quietly following this blog, I have set up a special email account for anyone who would like information about attending. It is: firstname.lastname@example.org. If you email me there, I will send you the address, time, and the typical attire.
I love you all dearly and want to thank you again for your love, concern, and support.
Noah's 5th Birthday
2 months ago