Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Miracles

8 weeks ago, I wasn't even sure I had the courage to ASK God to make it this far. Then, once I mustered the guts to ask--really ask God--for a birth sometime between 32-34, my faith was tried by a couple really close calls. I was even nervous to tell the internet about my "miracle test" because--what if the test came back and it wasn't God's will to take me this far? My faith wasn't perfect, but Christ made up for that.

And here I am.

32 weeks, 4 days, and counting.

And what kills me is that the OB, who laughed only weeks ago saying, "Natalie, you won't make it to 36," is now saying, "All bets are off. We might even have to induce you!" The Perinatal docs were laughing that it's just those handful of girls like me that get to full term and then curse the docs for putting them through all the hospital bed rest for no reason.

But I wouldn't curse them. They used all the medical technology they could to keep me pregnant. And the night the on-call doc was saying, "We're going to have a baby tonight--you better have your husband fly home," I know it wasn't them who kept me pregnant, anyway.

So, as I sit here in the comfort of my own home, marveling at the wonderful miracles God has done to get me this far, I wonder if He intends to answer the prayers I made a long time ago--before I was admitted to the hospital--right after I found out I was pregnant; the prayers I said every night those early months; the ones where I asked if I could have a baby healthy enough to take home from the hospital with me...

I haven't once asked for that since I found out about my cervix that fateful August 2nd.

And yet, here I am. And the impossible looks strangely possible.

God's already answered my plea for 32 weeks. What will He do next?

But I'm honestly happy with whatever happens. If she comes today, or has 4-8 more weeks in the oven . . . it's all something I consider to be better than what I even dared hope 8 weeks ago.


~Natalie

3 comments:

Heather said...

I leave it to you to always post something to make me cry. This was so touching, and I admire your faith. It helps me have better faith too. love you dear

Audrey said...

I am so excited for you! I admire your faith so much. I'm so glad you are home with Brynn.

Mara Schasteen said...

Soooo happy for you. You look fabulously round and lush. Enjoy your final weeks. I am so proud of you for staying so positive.