Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Induc...Say What?

Sometimes I think this is going on inside me:



Given this "inner struggle," I can't even believe inducing me is a genuine topic of discussion. But it is. I now have a scheduled induction date for October 30 at 7 AM, which is just one day after I hit 37 weeks. I don't know how good I feel about forcing Heidi to come literally one day after she is officially "full term." I feel a little like I'm saying, "Thanks for offering us a healthy kid, God, but we'll take our chances by inducing as soon as humanly possible. Can you make sure she doesn't have jaundice, TTN (stressed breathing), or lazy eating like some 37 weekers? Gee, thanks, God."

I mean it's one thing if she comes on her own, because I know God will have sanctioned it. But forcing it? Even still, we're kind of between a rock and a hard place.

Between our house closing on Nov 12th, shipping our cars, managing Delta's rules for "required infant age" prior to flying, having to pack and move across the country, recovering from my first "real" delivery, learning to breastfeed AND dealing with a special-needs toddler who is spunkier by the day--all while getting practically zero sleep from having a newborn--let's just say I'm starting to sweat.

I was kind of planning on having a little recovery time while Heidi was in the NICU, then having her come home, then having to pack/move ... you know, spreading the stress over a few weeks instead of cramming all into the same dang week! It's incredibly ironic that having a healthy, full-term kid is actually adding to the stress. What is wrong with this picture?

Anyway, we've been pretty crazy these past few days trying to figure out what we're going to do now that Heidi hasn't arrived yet. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. I hate hard decisions, but am expecting that this is all part of the "faith" lesson I'm supposed to be learning with this ordeal. I'll confess it's hard to hold to the faith that "everything will work out" when it's starting to look really plausible that it's going to be a gigantic, stressful pain in the you-know-what.

I just have to keep chanting, "We'll get through this... we'll get through this..."

Well, anyway, I'm changing subjects. My appointments today put us here:
--I'm 5.5 cm dilated, still 100% effaced, BUT Heidi has moved up a little and is putting less pressure on the cervix
--Heidi weighs an estimated 4 lbs 11 oz, which puts her in the 4th percentile. With just 5 more oz, she'll be 4 times Brynn's birth weight.

Thanks for reading, and sorry if you thought the delay in posting was due to Heidi's arrival. I only wish.

~Natalie

14 comments:

Brady and Rachel said...

This is just all so IRONIC! Who woulda thought! You almost had her at 24 weeks or so and now talk of inducing! Will Matt be home this weekend? Maybe he's just waiting for daddy to be able to be there. Just keep chanting away Nat! IT IS in God's hands and somehow it will all be done and before you know it you will be safely back in Utah as a family near your family and the STORIES you will have to tell! I can only imagine the stress is causes though in the meantime. Hang in there. Just to change the subject and distract you, want to hear what happened today to me....Went to the pumpkin patch with our old ward's playgroup. After we had been there a while, my toddler was playing with my keys and I had the thought maybe I ought to take them back so she doesn't accidentally lose them when I'm not looking (meaning just leave them on the grass somewhere, etc and maybe I would see where she was when she last had them). Anyways, I was talking to a couple friends and Baylee walked over past the front of me and over to the side of a building on the property that we were sitting next to. I didn't think anything of it, then I noticed her look at me (she's only 17 months) and suddenly I realized what just happend. I said "you didn't" and I stood up and walked over. both friends said "didn't what?" then they realized to. She had dropped my keys down a storm drain pipe! Long story short, after about an hour and a half of figuring out how to take part of the top pipe off and getting an ice cream scoop, a rubber strap with a hook on it (from the store lady on the farm) and trying OVER and OVER again to try to somehow locate the keys (the piped turned 90 degrees part way down and the keys could not be seen) and debating whether to try to flush it out or something hoping it would head to a small box in the ground that had two pipes connecting to it (though I had a pretty good hunch if we tried that it might get stuck on a lip somewhere in the pipe). We were waiting for the farm owner to come to get an idea if the pipe even actually lead there. Anyways after what seemed like the hundredth attempt with the strap and feeling like I was likely just pushing the keys further into the pipe, but some miracle the strap hook actually partially caught on to the automatic door opener on the key chain and very slowly I pulled it and it came out to where I could reach it! I was RELIEVED! My hubby was busy with patients so I knew there was no chance of getting him to come get me, and had to pick up a first grader, later etc. But I found myself actually calm and relaxed through the whole ordeal. 5-6 months ago I was one who would have stressed like crazy and gotten all worked up, etc, but I felt calm from the beginning and I just had to laugh about the whole thing and I thought, well at least the weather is beautiful if we have to hang out here for a while. I just thought, this is just one of those things, one of those days you here others talk about after the fact and you just have to laugh. Today I'm living one. We all got a good laugh, but I also sure felt blessed to get the keys back, I really thought it might be a lost cause, but at the same time felt the Lord was blessing me to be calm through it all.

Brady and Rachel said...

Sorry, I know this is nothign compared to what you are dealing with right now on a stress level, and this is way to long, but just thought maybe it might give you a good laugh. My friend snapped a couple pics of Baylee shortly after she did it with quite the guilty look while I was over talking to the store clerk, that I'll have to get up on facebook soon. Prayers are with you Nat!! They always have been and they always will be in the days to come. You guys will get through, because God is DEFINITELY watching out for you and he has a greater plan. Who knows you might bounce back so quick from delivery (smooth sailing) with a healthy baby girl who gets to leave the hospital with you and sleeps like an angel, so you aren't sleep deprived. :) Just a thought. But either way I'm guessing you've got an amazing ward who can amazingly have you packed up faster than you ever imagined! Sorry, that was way too long and actually required 2 posts. oops.

Mara Schasteen said...

Love you, love you, love you... so sorry you're facing such insane trials. Yuck! "It will all be over soon enough" doesn't help much when you are in the midst of it all. I can only say a little prayer for you that you and your spunky brood will do this thing with bells on and get some great stories to use against Heidi in the future when you have "inconvenienced" her in some way :)

You can do it, you can do it, you can do it... Rah Rah Rah!

Kirsten said...

wow, and I thought I had it bad moving at 34 weeks and then praying Kaia would come early so she'd be old enough to travel when we had to go back to LA for Britton's tv shoot...didn't happen. She was late, I had to be induced and fly with her at 10 days old. You've got way too much going on! Wish you the best, and know it will all work out for you!

The Girl said...

Ugh. I can't even imagine. This post gave me whiplash. You're such a trooper.

And I'm getting excited to meet little Heidi! And you! It'll be nice once you have a healthy baby and get to Utah.

PS--Did you know that Matt is our home teacher? How fun!

Natalie said...

Rachel--I DID have a good laugh. Thanks! You should read this post by my friend Trisha: http://tristanandtricia.blogspot.com/2010/10/why-dont-you-come-in-mommy.html

Mara & Kirsten: thanks for the rah! rah! rah! :)

The Girl: WOW! I didn't even know our records were transferred yet. Just goes to show that even the Ward is waiting for us to hurry up and arrive. Apparently Matt's going to miss home teaching the month of October. We'll tell him he's a slacker :) Maybe you and I will be VT companions!

Angela Hill said...

I knew you'd have to be induced!!! Do I win a prize? Sorry you are dealing with all this stress and not knowing what the right thing to do is. I hope everything goes well, and that includes the move and everything!!

Brady and Rachel said...

Thanks Nat! Glad to know I'm not the only one with one of "those" days. haha. Glad its over for her though, hers was more scary than mine that is for sure.

Alyson said...

Well for sure most of the women I know are the sort that are thinking, "How do I get this baby out?" rather than "How do I keep this baby in?" But I'd say of all my friends who have had to go on bed rest, 75% ended up having to be induced after being taken off bed rest. :) I do find it just a little funny; but really, it is such a blessing that the babies stayed in long enough to thrive that I can't laugh too hard at it. Have my fingers crossed that you and Heidi can work it out on your own! I can't even believe dilated to 5.5. When I get to that point, I am literally 20 minutes from holding a baby in my arms. I can't believe that you're still walking around contractionless!

Natalie said...

Alyson: I am definitely NOT contractionless. I have probably 3-10 contractions per hour every day, all day. But they never increase past a tolerable pain level and they've been going like that for weeks. Like I said, my uterus is weird :)

Natalie said...

Angela: You totally win a prize. Let's just say it's a good thing I'm not a betting woman or I would have lost A LOT of money on this one :)

Anne said...

We had scheduled an induction for Monday when we would be 41 weeks and 6 days. Even with that timing I was hoping our little guy to choose his own birthday. How grateful I was when I started having serious contractions yesterday and am now in a toss up of looking at my cute sleeping husband on my right or my cute sleeping baby to my left...

Brady and Rachel said...

Hey, if you are up for a good read or just getting stressed from all that is going on, and haven't already read it, check out President Uchtdorf's talk from Priesthood session in April about Patience. I just read it this morning for my scripture reading, VERY inspiring (something I needed to read myself.)

Marie said...

Did you create that picture? Just wondering... :) I'm glad you have a sense of humor in all of this!! You DO have a great ward here that is willing to do ANYTHING you guys ask! We are SO SAD to lose the Hunsaker's!!! Good luck on the home stretch!