I had some seriously weird dreams last night. Hilarious.
In one, we had used a new technology for incubating Heidi by putting her in a cocoon and implanting her back into my uterus. Except we'd forgotten that we'd used the new technology. So when she was born (at full term) and the cocoon was only the size of a 2 lb baby, I finally realized why she was measuring so small on the sonograms. Also, because of her tiny size, I didn't even realize I was in labor and she came in 10 minutes. Not only did Daddy miss the delivery, but so did everyone else except the nurse. The nurse and I had to cut off the 15 layers of cocoon wrap really fast so Heidi could breathe.
In another one, I had been using the bathroom so much that we ran out of toilet paper and I was forced to use the shop towels I buy for my paintings. Only they're the size of paper towel rolls, so we had to cut them in thirds.
In the last one, I was breastfeeding Heidi using a newspaper between us. When I finally realized how ineffective it was and latched her on correctly, her suction was the strength of a shop vac.
Can you tell what I am most worried about? Apparently I'm worried that I won't know when I'm really in labor (since I was tricked the last time I had contractions 2-5 minutes apart for 5 hours), that Heidi will come really fast by the time I finally figure out she's coming, that Matt will miss the delivery, and that I'll have no idea how to breastfeed.
For the record, however, I am not worried about running out of toilet paper.
At least I had the best night's sleep I've had in months and woke up laughing!
PS If spending 5 hours today shopping, wandering around malls, taking Brynn for a walk down the street several times, carrying Brynn back from the walk because she refuses to come home, and going out to eat with my hubby isn't enough to bring on labor (which it hasn't yet), all bets are off with when this kid is going to arrive.
Noah's 5th Birthday
2 months ago