Thursday, December 23, 2010

Tiny Fib

POST SCRIPT: I should probably delete this post altogether. I certainly wouldn't want one of my therapists to happen upon this site and think they've done a bad job. I can tell they're wonderful people and over time, our working relationships will get stronger. It's just the transition that is hard--most especially the transition of habits. Although one system of therapy will likely work just as well as another, it's just a major transition for me to go from one to another in each of her developmental areas. In the short time we've been here, though, some therapists have already been surprised at the rapid rate of Brynn's development from their first visit to the second, so I think they will quickly become as optimistic as the KS staff. Once all my habits are changed, new approaches are integrated to my daily routine, and new recommendations are second nature, I'm sure I'll be as happy with those in UT as I was with those in KS.

So, I sort of lied when I said not much was going on besides eating, sleeping, pooping, and boogers. The fact is, getting used to all the new therapists is really hard and I've been struggling. Not only does it feel like people aren't listening to me when I try to tell them about Brynn's quirks, but it also feels like an overwhelming wave of negativity.

In KS, all the therapists were so optimistic about Brynn. Here, they all stress how "severely" delayed she is in every area. In KS, everyone believed she'd live a normal life. Here, although no one has directly said it, I get the impression they're all worried about her because several have said they expect her to be much further ahead than she is.

Then, aside from all our other changes, I've also been asked to change nearly everything I was working on--and in totally menial ways like saying, "Let me hear you say...?" instead of "Can you say...?" Although I understand the thought behind the change (making it a soft command vs. a closed, yes/no question), I end up thinking, "Seriously? You really think that's going to be the difference between her learning language and not learning language?"

Changing habits is hard. Especially when you trust and love your old therapists and you're overwhelmed with all the other changes in your life already.

So, I got excited about a "normal" toddler thing Brynn did. Since she prefers walking around to actual hands-on exploring, she rarely gets into stuff. But I was so happy she finally did something "devious," I thought it worthy of photographing:

Since the photo, I've been feeling better. Brynn has come leaps and bounds. I know it, and all the therapists in KS know it. Furthermore, I know I'm doing my best and I know that will be good enough no matter what the outcome is. God has granted me a lot of peace about it recently--and I trust Him more than any therapist.


Mommy P said...

The new therapists haven't seen how far she has come; and she has come sooo far! Don't let them get you down, or doubt what an amazing job you have done with Brynn and will continue to.

I love the new look of the blog!

Natalie said...

Natalie, We miss you here in Kansas a lot. Don't worry about those therapists, you are completely right, she will learn what she learns, when she learns it and you are an awesome mom with an awesome responsibility. Hang in there and tell those therapists to not be so anal and take a flying leap....hehehe

Kate said...

She's also doing better and better interacting with Jason. She was so concerned yesterday when he wasn't feeling well.

Lori said...

You are a fantastic mother and Brynn really has come such a long way, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Yes, she still has a long road ahead of her, but like everything in life, you only have to take it one day at a time. :-) We love you!

Tiffany said...

Hey girl, no one knows your kiddo like you do! Do what you think is right, they don't live with you nor have they known you for very long! Keep up what you're doing, you're the one she loves and will treasure forever....not her therapist!

Deb said...

Hi Natalie,
It made me so sad to read your blog and learn of your experiences with the new therapists here. I am so sorry you are not having a good experience. I hope it improves. As a therapist, I see this all the time...when someone is new and doesn't know the child and hasn't seen her from the beginning they tend to be a bit short-sighted, and want to be sure the parent is aware of their concerns, and can sometimes be a little too forthcoming with their opinions and comments. It's too bad they put out a negative vibe because I think for the most part their hearts are in the right place and they are in the field because they love it. You also have have options, and if you don't come to feel like they are invested in your child and want the best for her, change therapists. I also think it's okay to say,
"I want to hear about her progress, even if it's just baby steps. I am well aware of her needs, and I would appreciate keeping the feedback positive. I am happy for your input and ideas about what you want us to work on, but I want this to be a positive experience for our entire family, and what I need from you is positivity and encouragement."
I am sure you can say it even better, but I think it's okay to tell them how you feel. As a therapist if someone said this to me, I might feel embarrassed for a minute, but I really think in the long run I would appreciate the feedback, and it would help me to be more aware and more sensitive. Anyway I'm rambling, but I know an excellent therapist that specializes in working with the deaf and is an expert in cochlear implants. She has a Master's Degree in Deaf Ed. and a Master's degree in speech-language pathology. She works for USDB, but is excellent at what she does and would be happy to talk to you, and let you pick her brain anytime. She is a friend and is very positive and a great resource so let me know if you want her name and number. I think she would help you feel better about things. I swear she knows every kid in the state that has a cochlear implant. :)

Take care, Debbie

Deb said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Deb said...

Somehow my comment posted twice..sorry.( I removed one if them.)